It's not Terry's - It's Europe's!

A Great British 'Christmas stocking filler' favourite bites the dust I hear today.

The production of well known Terry's Chocolate Orange will no longer be made in this country.

Production is being transferred to facilities in Sweden, Belgium, Poland and Slovakia.

What will be next? Cadbury's Creme Eggs? Penguins? Kitkats?

I wonder what Dawn French will think of this?

Tiger Woods visits Ireland

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant who obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golf pro is.

'' Top of the mornin to yer, sir'' says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello'' and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.

As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

''What are those", asks the attendant.

''They're called tees'' replies Tiger.

''Well, what on God's earth are dey for.'' inquires the Irishman.

''They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

''Fookin Jaysus'', says the Irishman, ''BMW thinks of everything''

Friendly word of warning

For all those of you out there that are considering any 'enhancing surgery' think long and hard.

Could this be your future?

Battle of the Transformers

Citroen C4 Advert











or


Danish Bacon Advert












Who's your winner?

Hidden talents?

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.People crave your praise and complements.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

I kinda 'borrowed this from Better safe than sorry.

To those that know me, do you think it's right?

Blogger returns!

Due to a 'technical hitch', we've been without access to the internet for a while.

I had no idea how frustrated I would feel not being able to 'blog' and read 'blogs'.

Oh well, it's nice to be back. I feel like I've missed so much. There's a lot of catching up to do!

Give me strength!

Why is it so bloomin' difficult to purchase a battery for my lovely little MX5?

I have been on the phone to more car parts retailers than I can mention, and they all seem to be completely incapable of understanding the English language!

How many times have I explained that I would like to know if they have a battery for a 1997 Mazda MX5 1.8 Dakar in stock? (to save a wasted journey)

How many times have I had to repeat myself over & over?

How many times have they asked if I can bring the car to them so that they can check they have the right one?

How many times have I said that I can't do that BECAUSE THE BATTERY IS DEAD! and at present I have no way of starting the car?

Why is it that I get the impression that because I'm a woman I don't know what I'm asking for?

Why is Rob at work when I need him? He's asked me to find one out there and he'll pick it up on his way home, but it's looking more and more unlikely at the moment.

Phew - needed to get that out of my system.
Now it's on with the quest. Wish me luck. I think I'm going to need it!!!

Disgusting little known facts

I don't really think you'll want to know these, but they certainly made me cringe!


During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 litres of urine.





In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.)






An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.







In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept! (Oh my god!)







Daily you will breath in 1 litre of other peoples' anal gases.

Come fly with me

Well, that's what the other half said, and I'm ready to go...............when he's finished building the plane that is!

Yes. He's building a 2 seater aircraft in our garage.

Don't worry. He's just a qualified pilot that really wants to fly his 'own' aircraft instead of having to hire one.

The picture above is what it will look like when it's finished.

Imagine........

...that you've had a BIG win on the lottery.

By a big win, I mean money will be no problem for the foreseeable future!

How would you start to spend it?

These are my ideas.......


Throw a HUGE party!

Hand in my notice!!!!! Whoopie!!!

Book a holiday to The Maldives. (Somewhere I've always fancied, and want to see before it disappears below the water)

Pay to get my back sorted out!!! (fed up of waiting now)

Buy a country house, with swimming pool, stables and reasonable amount of land.

Buy a couple of horses to put in the stables!

Treat myself to a 'shop til I drop' experience (you know, clothes, shoes, jewellery, haircut etc)

Update the car. I might have to buy more than one though because I like quite a few different ones!

Buy my husband a plane and a big boat. (I'd let him choose which one's of course)

See the 'kids' alright.

See the parents alright.

See 'close' family alright.

Buy a dog (I really miss having a dog around)

Aahh, dreams eh. Oh well, time to get back to reality now!!!

7 things..........

The Toothfairy tagged me for this.

It was tough going, but I got there in the end.



7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Have my own horse.
2. Visit Australia, New Zealand, Canada and USA (just to say I've been there!)
3. Go down the Cresta Run in a bob sleigh.
4. Get fit (back and knee)
5. Get to the top of Ben Nevis, Snowdon and Scafell Pike on foot!
6. Learn to ride a motorbike.
7. Be a grandparent.

7 things I can do:
1. Ride a horse
2. Cook reasonably well
3. Turn out fire engines in under a minute!
4. Drive a lorry
5. Be a good listener
6. Play the piano (very poorly now though)
7. Spot a health & safety problem at 50 paces!

7 things I cannot do:
1. Play the piano properly
2. Sing properly (doesn't stop me though!)
3. Fly a plane (but I know a man who can!)
4. Service a car
5. Understand cricket scores (whats that all about?)
6. Run a 100m in 13 seconds any more!
7. Swim very far

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Sense of humour
2. Dark eyes
3. Bright smile
4. Being able to make me laugh
5. Cuddly
6. Caring
7. Strong arms (for lots of hugs)

7 things I say most often:
1. Flippin' 'eck!
2. Hiya
3. See ya
4. What do you want for tea?
5. Are your things ready for school tomorrow? (to my daughter)
6. I wish...
7. Oh my god!!

7 celebrity crushes:
1. Sean Bean
2. George Clooney
3. Kevin Costner
4. Bruce Willis
5. Mel Gibson
6. Harrison Ford
7. Jude Law

Phew!!!

I'm lovin' it!

This story almost restores your faith in human nature.

However, it will either make you say 'Aarrh, aint that sweet' or 'Urggh - how gross is that!'

Read on, and you decide!

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking.

"Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!" The little old man walked up to the cash register and placed his order with no hesitation, and then paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.

There was one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites. Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were thinking. "That poor old couple." As the old man began eating his French fires, a young man stood up and walked to the old couples table. He politely offered to buy another meal. The old man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing everything.

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink. Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal.

This time, the lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.

As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again. After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady,

"Ma'am, why aren't you eating? You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?" She answered................

"The teeth."

Result (I think!)

I have returned back from holiday to find that finally I have been given another appointment date to see the Consultant about having a fusion operation on my lower back!

After they cancelled the previous one, I put pen to paper, (well, fingers to computer keyboard really) writing to anyone that I thought should know.
ie The NHS Trust Chief Exec, the Chairman, my local MP, the consultant, my GP, etc etc!
They've told me that my new appointment is in a month's time, so lets just hope that they don't 'pull the rug out' right at the last minute again eh!

Fingers crossed!!!